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What is Stereotype?

"We slaughter one another in our words and attitudes. We slaughter one another in the stereotypes and mistrust that linger in our heads, and words of hate we spew from our lips"

-Nelson Mandela-

We cannot change someone’s perspective of seeing the world in a specific way rather an experience can change the view. It is said that ‘’Judging a person doesn’t define who they are. It defines who you are.’’ The perspective of viewing this world is different for each, but stereotypes created by this world has enabled the person to view it in a definite way.

Are all the Muslims, living in the world terrorist?

All the girls are bad drivers?

Are all the Africans infected by the Ebola virus?

These were some of the questions raised in my mind, and believe me, there are millions of other more like these.

All these questions have only one answer that is NO! A big NO.

Why judge the whole flock of white sheep, just because of one black sheep (bad person). It is an undeniable fact that any group, race or herd have a black sheep in them, but it is also true that judging any particular group just because of a black sheep is also wrong. Stereotypes are a kind of gossip about a certain group of people or a person, gossip is something that makes us prejudge people before we even lay eyes on them.

Why Stereotype Exist?

We tend to stereotype because it helps us make sense of a highly confusing world.

These abnormal norms created by society has changed a person’s view of seeing everything positively rather every other person is judged for something they do or behave. If a girl and boy are traveling together then they must be a couple dating each other. Oh hello! they can be brother and sister or husband and wife. But an idea of a girl and boy together clicks the image of boyfriend and girlfriend only. This is how negatively these stereotypes are affecting a person’s mind.

Another stereotype is if a girl is 26 and not married the aunties sees them as 62 and too old to get married now. I hate this norm. Like there may be some reason why hasn't she gotten married yet. Maybe she gets the proposals but she got rejected every time because either she is fat, black or not pretty. This is another stereotype we have created that girls should be pretty, have model-like figures, knows all the maid kind work i.e. How to cook, sew, wash, etc. As if you're marrying a robot and not a girl. Deep within her, she is struggling to get married but no we tend to judge her on outside without knowing the real cause.

People who can’t speak English are considered illiterate in Pakistan. Let’s talk about China which is one of the biggest country in the world regarding population, well, most of the people in china cannot speak or even understand English, and like that there are many other countries in the world.

I've also seen some wrong perspectives in the name of stereotypes. People are spreading negativity using the name of stereotype giving their own personal views over an idea or something. I suggest to refrain from such comments or post and don't spread hate over a wrong stereotype.

"Stereotypes develop and persist because they are useful. They reduce the tremendous complexity of the world around us into a few simple guidelines, which we use in our everyday thoughts and decisions. However, the simpler and more convenient the stereotype, the more likely it is to be inaccurate, at least in part."

-Stuart Oskamp-

Conclusion: -

Stereotypes do exist but we have to walk through them. Don’t let society define who you are. You are one unique self that no one can ever be. It’s the nature of human being to judge and be judged. F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, "Begin with an individual, and before you know it you have created a type; begin with a type, and you find you have created nothing.".

Don’t let yourself fall in the trap of societal norms rather be the one to break the stereotypes. Spread the positive impact around the world about yourself. Because your actions define you not your physical identity. You don't have to prove anyone anything, because Allah has created everyone beautiful just the way they are.

BREAK THE STEREOTYPE!!!!

--Written By Rameen Fatima Basri
-- Edited By Aheed Uddin Basri

How Stereotype Works

I will not be married until I become something

Today's generation has a thought that being married is something that can stop them from achieving their dreams. Especially, nowadays girls are not getting married until they complete their studies or set a career. Their first priority has now changed to establishing a career rather than marrying at a suitable age.

But why such stupid thinking has seized our minds? Because we think after getting married our freedom, our fantasies, our dreams will be over and we will have to dedicate our life for others. Marriage is the name of an adventure full of responsibilities, sacrifice, companionship, understanding, to forgive and forget and to live for your family by forgetting yourself completely.

As a girl, most of us think that marriage means depending on someone for support and to end our freedom and live in a cage of darkness and anguish. Because singlehood has its own charm, we live in a life without responsibilities, where no one restricts us, where we don’t think about others, this is the life where you are responsible for taking care of yourself, you have your own privacy, your own dreams to follow.

This type of thinking perished our society because when proposals came girls think of such stereotypes and refuse to marry and instead she follows what her heart and the stereotype (Check out our complete article on How Stereotype Works) taught her and when she gets the degree sets a career, and establish herself as an entrepreneur she reached in her 30s’ and all she gets then are the proposals of men of 40’s or older than that. Sometimes the man who is divorced or have children almost of her own age. Which may result in no marriage or marriage with compromise, every girl has a dream that the man whom she gets married to would be handsome, good in appearance and befriend her which might not be possible after the ’30s.

Well, I am going to share my experience what I wanted to be and what I became so, my story begins. Hello, my name's Ayesha and I belong to a family where my parents want me to get higher education and become something great, as I grew up my father and my mother always treats me as a friend, they take care of every need of mine. A girl living in her father house is like heaven on earth no one is harsh on you scold you, you live in your own fantasies, follow your own rules, live life as you want. Free from all kind of tensions, problems. Because in the end you know if you fall in the trap of any kind your parents would be there for you to pull you out from any kind of pits. You are living on your own, interacting with all different types of people all while gaining new experiences.

So, I also had a dream of studying more and more and I was very conscious about my studies, but after some circumstances, I had to commit myself into a relationship, my father got seriously ill. Doctors diagnosed him multiple myeloma after all as I’m older one my father wants to see me as a bride but when he first expressed his feelings to me I wasn't ready for it because I have my own dreams I was in university and my 2nd year has ended and the third year would be starting soo but before I enter my 3rd year I have to begin my married life.

Internally I was very disheartened because my father served for me since my KG’s to my university life when the time was so near to give him a result and I was very near to my destination I had to end my studies and get married.

A good marriage is a contest of generosity

But whatever I have thought it went totally opposite my husband loves me so much he allowed me to continue my studies after a week of marriage and my mother in law, what should I write about her she is an amazing woman. As the word mother in law seems like a woman full of aggression, danger or a monster but my mother in law has completely changed the definition of it. She is a gift from ALLAH to me, she supports me she understands me and helps me out in every situation whenever I need her. My husband is a precious gift because without him I could not continue my university. if I’m studying my father is the reason, he is my inspiration I want to give him something worthy and after my father supports my husband became another hand, He is everything to me.

My perception of my life has changed if you get the right man at the right time you will succeed in your life because this is the real success of life. As I lost hope of fulfilling my dreams but it did not happen as the way I thought so losing hope is the biggest defeat of ours. As a result, concluded that never lose hope and as married life has its own fantasies it depends on your partner how he treats you.

P.S Note: -

These Are The Comments From Me That Is Rameen

[These are the experiences Syeda Ayesha Tahir has faced in her life. However, there are always two sides to a coin. The other side of marriages will be discussed soon In Shaa Allah and I believe it's a topic we should talk about in detail.]

Written By -- Syeda Ayesha Tahir

Edited By -- The Sibling Bloggers (Rameen Fatima)

From Damsel To Married Woman

Beauty

A small simple word but with momentous meaning. Beauty doesn't mean having stunning face and body but the true beauty lies in your soul, your character, and your confidence.

YOUR INNER BEAUTY NEVER NEEDS MAKEUP.

It only needs a good heart filled with selflessness, love, and care. True beauty can never hide under make-up or filtered photos. They say necessity is the mother of invention, that’s true. Sometimes it becomes necessary for some people to apply filters and tons of make-up (especially for girls), they try to hide their true self behind the layers of makeup. But in that what they ought to forget is that they are masking their true self. I am not against applying makeup. I believe that God is beautiful and love beautiful things so you should always be in a presentable condition but not by suppressing your true self. It doesn't matter if you have dark skin, acne skin, wrinkled skin or spots on your body. All it matters is your elegant heart. Makeup should be applied just to enhance your features and not to hide your true self.

YOUR OUTER BEAUTY WILL CAPTURE THE EYES; YOUR INNER BEAUTY WILL CAPTURE THE HEART.

And learn to love yourself first. If you feel beautiful yourself then it'll bring the glow to your skin no outer beauty can add. Your inner beauty makes you more confident and feels good in your own skin. No matter how your looks are if you feel good about yourself from the inside, you'll automatically find a kind of confidence that helps you walk through different phases of life.

The physical appearance may look appealing to you for some time but inner beauty is something that remains in the heart of others for the lifetime.

Unlike physical beauty, inner beauty is hard to find in someone. Every person is like a deep ocean you do not know what's on the surface until you dive deep within that person and only then you'll know their true beauty.

In my personal life, I've met some girls who are really beautiful and attractive from outside but there's a beast hidden in them. Their physical beauty hides their beast but once you start conversing with them you feel uneasy; you start to feel maladroit. At that point, their outer beauty fails to make those people stay in their lives. Everyone starts leaving them and there comes a time when they are left alone, just by themselves. Why? just because of their vulgar behavior with others. But if you possess good heart, selfless nature and beautiful soul then automatically everyone's attracted towards you. They love to have you as their friends, they love to spend time with you. They truly love you. And in the end, the love with the heart and soul remains eternal but people tend to forget the love with the body.

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ARE NOT ALWAYS GOOD BUT GOOD PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL--(Hazrat Ali Ibn Abi Talib R.A)

There's a quote saying,

BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER.

I personally don't believe in it. Your true beauty lies within you not what others observe in you. You only show the world what you want them to see not what's within you. You can never judge a person by your personal observations. You do not know their situations. So, before you start making conviction about someone do check their current status.

See nature, they don't care about anyone. The sun doesn't care how hot it is, the moon doesn't care that it has stains, the clouds don't care that they're uneven. But still, we find them beautiful the way they are.

So, don't try to change yourself for the people who are not interested in you because if they genuinely loved you then they would have loved you the way you are. When you change yourself for someone you lose the originality of yourself. You don't stay you but becomes someone they want you to be. And even after that, they’ll lose interest in you after some time because they never loved you in the first place for being you.

Feel gorgeous, don't care what others think of you but care what Allah thinks of you. Because in the end, you have to answer Him about your deeds and not the world. And remember that no matter how beautiful the rose bloom into it can always hurt you if you forget that it has thorns in it. If you remember to remove those thorns, only then you can enjoy its true beauty.

Always be optimistic. Spread positivity, reveal your inner beauty to the world. Because you can only achieve tranquility of heart by your good deeds and beautiful character. Most people complain about depression, my advice for them is to stay happy no matter the circumstances, and always smile and try to make people smile. Because knowing that you are the reason for someone's smile is the best feeling in the world.

-Written By Rameen Fatima

-Edited By Aheed Uddin Basri

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The Beauty That Everyone Tends To Forget

And they lived happily ever after. A line we usually hear in most fantasy movies and dramas ending. But does happily ever after really exist? There may be happy endings for some but for others, there are only sad ones. It is not that there are only bad endings or fortunate endings, both types of endings exist in different phases of life, but is there really any cessation to life?

To be honest, conclusions are the inception of a new event in your life. Now, sure that the ending of a particular chapter in your life might not be a happy one but remember that it's not the ending of your whole life. You still have your remaining life to live. The past might hurt you but that isn't the end of your tale it's the present instant that defines you who you really are. So, live the moment with its fullest who knows it's the last moment of your life.

Life's a rollercoaster ride. One time you rise and cherish the wonderful days of your life but eventually, that ride does come down sometimes and there you have to go through the most tormenting days of your life. And each day you break a little more and experience the world's cruel realities. When a person is in great grief or sorrow everything around him becomes negative and in those time if he sees someone happy, they start to wonder, why are they happy while we are not? This is something called human nature. The person might seem to be happy but who knows what's inside of his heart. He might have put a facade of happiness on the outside but from inside, his own demons are slowly annihilating him.

No person in this word can be truly happy, that's a bitter fact of life. No matter how much success you've achieved or how rich you've become there will always be a reason that's going to bring sadness in your life. The reason for this post is not to make you sadder but to tell you to embrace life as it is. No one is born strong or weak. Their circumstances shape them into what they become.

When we think life is going perfect, a problem comes by and ruin it, but that is the thing about life. We have to see some bad times to truly cherish the other blessings of life. Life is all about solving various problems and that's what makes it complete. Take an example of a car battery, if both negative and positive terminals aren't connected you cannot start the engine and move the car ahead. That is the same matter with life and its problems, if the life is only with problems then suicide rates will be far greater then birth rates, else if the life is only with happiness (which is not possible, at least not in this world) then you'll get bored from your life. Jim Carey once said:

" I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer."

My story starts with the time I started fantasizing of becoming a doctor. I started working hard day and night to achieve good marks and as much as my physical and emotional self could afford, I did my best. But the biggest tragedy of my life happens in 2016 when I was in the first year of my intermediate and my brother suffered from horrendous jaundice. We immediately started the treatment but as time passes instead of disease to abate it intensified. Those days were seriously horrible and only if I had the power to erase my memory, I would have definitely deleted that part of my life from my mind.

My exams came in between those six months and because my brother was hospitalized those days my mind would always wander around him. Even when attempting paper. He's my world and I cannot deny that. We may fight a lot but the truth is we cannot live without each other. And when the doctor said he has some days left to live my heart would always tell me if he's not alive what's the reason for you to live. And at that point a beautiful verse would always cross my mind, ALLAH DOESN'T BURDEN A SOUL MORE THAN IT COULD BEAR. And it's true sadness do last, pain does changes to happiness. Wounds do heal. And finally, you may find your light at the end of the dark tunnel. After the whole painful year, we did experience the happy days of him being completely healthy. But what I lost amidst that chaotic time was my dream. I didn't achieve good grades in my first year of intermediate and that results in my failure to get admission in medical college. With only one percent short I lost my chance and there I decided I should give a try to the pharmacy and here I am becoming a pharmacist. How I got into pharmacy is a story for another time In Shaa Allah.

But here I wanna tell you that if you lose hope in your worst days thinking they can never be fixed then remember that there is always sunrise after a dark night. You just have to go through the night to witness the beauty of the first ray light in the morning.

If your mind is positive only then you will be able to see the genuine beauty in everything. Happiness originates with a positive mind. No one can help you find happiness but only you. See the elegance in everything, be happy in all kind of situations knowing that this shall too pass. Sadness won't last forever, someday you will find your happiness.

Everyone has a different situation; everyone has a different story it's up to you how you shape your story and how you tell the world about it. So, what's your story?

-Written by Rameen Fatima
-Edited by Aheed Uddin

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