Today's generation has a thought that being married is something that can stop them from achieving their dreams. Especially, nowadays girls are not getting married until they complete their studies or set a career. Their first priority has now changed to establishing a career rather than marrying at a suitable age.

But why such stupid thinking has seized our minds? Because we think after getting married our freedom, our fantasies, our dreams will be over and we will have to dedicate our life for others. Marriage is the name of an adventure full of responsibilities, sacrifice, companionship, understanding, to forgive and forget and to live for your family by forgetting yourself completely.

As a girl, most of us think that marriage means depending on someone for support and to end our freedom and live in a cage of darkness and anguish. Because singlehood has its own charm, we live in a life without responsibilities, where no one restricts us, where we don’t think about others, this is the life where you are responsible for taking care of yourself, you have your own privacy, your own dreams to follow.

This type of thinking perished our society because when proposals came girls think of such stereotypes and refuse to marry and instead she follows what her heart and the stereotype (Check out our complete article on How Stereotype Works) taught her and when she gets the degree sets a career, and establish herself as an entrepreneur she reached in her 30s’ and all she gets then are the proposals of men of 40’s or older than that. Sometimes the man who is divorced or have children almost of her own age. Which may result in no marriage or marriage with compromise, every girl has a dream that the man whom she gets married to would be handsome, good in appearance and befriend her which might not be possible after the ’30s.

Well, I am going to share my experience what I wanted to be and what I became so, my story begins. Hello, my name's Ayesha and I belong to a family where my parents want me to get higher education and become something great, as I grew up my father and my mother always treats me as a friend, they take care of every need of mine. A girl living in her father house is like heaven on earth no one is harsh on you scold you, you live in your own fantasies, follow your own rules, live life as you want. Free from all kind of tensions, problems. Because in the end you know if you fall in the trap of any kind your parents would be there for you to pull you out from any kind of pits. You are living on your own, interacting with all different types of people all while gaining new experiences.

So, I also had a dream of studying more and more and I was very conscious about my studies, but after some circumstances, I had to commit myself into a relationship, my father got seriously ill. Doctors diagnosed him multiple myeloma after all as I’m older one my father wants to see me as a bride but when he first expressed his feelings to me I wasn't ready for it because I have my own dreams I was in university and my 2nd year has ended and the third year would be starting soo  but before I enter my 3rd year I have to begin my married life.

Internally I was very disheartened because my father served for me since my KG’s to my university life when the time was so near to give him a result and I was very near to my destination I had to end my studies and get married.

But whatever I have thought it went totally opposite my husband loves me so much he allowed me to continue my studies after a week of marriage and my mother in law, what should I write about her she is an amazing woman. As the word mother in law seems like a woman full of aggression, danger or a monster but my mother in law has completely changed the definition of it. She is a gift from ALLAH to me, she supports me she understands me and helps me out in every situation whenever I need her. My husband is a precious gift because without him I could not continue my university. if I’m studying my father is the reason, he is my inspiration I want to give him something worthy and after my father supports my husband became another hand, He is everything to me.

My perception of my life has changed if you get the right man at the right time you will succeed in your life because this is the real success of life. As I lost hope of fulfilling my dreams but it did not happen as the way I thought so losing hope is the biggest defeat of ours. As a result, concluded that never lose hope and as married life has its own fantasies it depends on your partner how he treats you.

P.S Note: -

These Are The Comments From Me That Is Rameen

[These are the experiences Syeda Ayesha Tahir has faced in her life. However, there are always two sides to a coin. The other side of marriages will be discussed soon In Shaa Allah and I believe it's a topic we should talk about in detail.]

Written By --  Syeda Ayesha Tahir

Edited By --   The Sibling Bloggers (Rameen Fatima)

 

Beauty

A small simple word but with momentous meaning. Beauty doesn't mean having stunning face and body but the true beauty lies in your soul, your character, and your confidence.

It only needs a good heart filled with selflessness, love, and care. True beauty can never hide under make-up or filtered photos. They say necessity is the mother of invention, that’s true. Sometimes it becomes necessary for some people to apply filters and tons of make-up (especially for girls), they try to hide their true self behind the layers of makeup. But in that what they ought to forget is that they are masking their true self. I am not against applying makeup. I believe that God is beautiful and love beautiful things so you should always be in a presentable condition but not by suppressing your true self. It doesn't matter if you have dark skin, acne skin, wrinkled skin or spots on your body. All it matters is your elegant heart. Makeup should be applied just to enhance your features and not to hide your true self.

And learn to love yourself first. If you feel beautiful yourself then it'll bring the glow to your skin no outer beauty can add. Your inner beauty makes you more confident and feels good in your own skin. No matter how your looks are if you feel good about yourself from the inside, you'll automatically find a kind of confidence that helps you walk through different phases of life. 

The physical appearance may look appealing to you for some time but inner beauty is something that remains in the heart of others for the lifetime.

Unlike physical beauty, inner beauty is hard to find in someone. Every person is like a deep ocean you do not know what's on the surface until you dive deep within that person and only then you'll know their true beauty.

In my personal life, I've met some girls who are really beautiful and attractive from outside but there's a beast hidden in them. Their physical beauty hides their beast but once you start conversing with them you feel uneasy; you start to feel maladroit. At that point, their outer beauty fails to make those people stay in their lives. Everyone starts leaving them and there comes a time when they are left alone, just by themselves. Why? just because of their vulgar behavior with others. But if you possess good heart, selfless nature and beautiful soul then automatically everyone's attracted towards you. They love to have you as their friends, they love to spend time with you. They truly love you. And in the end, the love with the heart and soul remains eternal but people tend to forget the love with the body.

There's a quote saying,

I personally don't believe in it. Your true beauty lies within you not what others observe in you. You only show the world what you want them to see not what's within you. You can never judge a person by your personal observations. You do not know their situations. So, before you start making conviction about someone do check their current status.

See nature, they don't care about anyone. The sun doesn't care how hot it is, the moon doesn't care that it has stains, the clouds don't care that they're uneven. But still, we find them beautiful the way they are.

So, don't try to change yourself for the people who are not interested in you because if they genuinely loved you then they would have loved you the way you are. When you change yourself for someone you lose the originality of yourself. You don't stay you but becomes someone they want you to be. And even after that, they’ll lose interest in you after some time because they never loved you in the first place for being you.

Feel gorgeous, don't care what others think of you but care what Allah thinks of you. Because in the end, you have to answer Him about your deeds and not the world. And remember that no matter how beautiful the rose bloom into it can always hurt you if you forget that it has thorns in it. If you remember to remove those thorns, only then you can enjoy its true beauty. 

Always be optimistic. Spread positivity, reveal your inner beauty to the world. Because you can only achieve tranquility of heart by your good deeds and beautiful character. Most people complain about depression, my advice for them is to stay happy no matter the circumstances, and always smile and try to make people smile. Because knowing that you are the reason for someone's smile is the best feeling in the world.